This Zhitomir guitar is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I mean, it’s got an octagonal body with a giant Russian letter “Ж” (that’s “Zh” for those not in the know (just like a I was five minutes before writing this) embossed on it. And it’s made of aluminum! Who needs wood when you can have a guitar made of the same material as your soda can?

Now, I know what you’re thinking – who in their right mind would want to play a guitar shaped like this? Well, my friends, the Zhitomir guitar is not for the faint of heart. It’s like the devil’s own instrument. And if you’re into Norwegian black metal, well, let’s just say this guitar is uncompromisingly evil.

But here’s the thing – it’s not just the looks that make this guitar so special. Oh no. The neck is attached to the body with two wood screws that go right through the neck at the 12th fret. And the fret markers? Placed at the 5th, 7th, 12th, and 17th frets. What kind of musical system is that? I don’t know, but I’m sure the luthiers from Zhitomir had a good reason.

And don’t even get me started on the sound. From what I’ve heard on Youtube, it’s like Satan himself is playing a giant bucket. Apparently some Zh guitars were electric-acoustic, so who knows what kind of sonic torture this thing is capable of when plugged in. For $250, that’s a bargain for vintage rare collectors and fans of Soviet masterpieces… or deadly weapons, I don’t judge.

Guitar Fail

Exploring the funny side of guitar since 2011. Our motto is simple: “In it for the guitar fail!“

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