Guitar culture, questionable science & assorted goofy ideas since 2011.
GUITAR FAIL STUDIES IN GUITAROLOGY
Department of Absurd Ideas & Guitar Mayhem
Biomechanical Studies of Guitarist Specimens
Brace Your Neck: The Metal Guitarist Stance Explained
Headbanging is just the start. Discover the disciplined stance of the metal guitarist: Mayhem outside, control inside.
The Three-Point Anchoring System of Classical Guitar Immobility
Lesson 2 of Guitarist Postures & Motions: the Classical stance. Anchoring, tension, and the eternal battle between precision and panic.
How to Stand Like a Punk Rock Guitarist (Science Says So)
Master the art of punk rock guitar stances: downstrokes, headbanging, low-slung guitars, and a high risk of chaos (and injury). Class dismissed!
Maths Meet Genres = Dubious Equations
Metal Explained (Violently)
Angst + distortion + double bass pedal = Metal. Add a pointy guitar and excessive velocity… the equation checks out.
Jazz Explained (Approximately) by Guitar Fail Math 101
Jazz = Improvisation / (Structure – Boundaries). A perfect equation that finally explains jazz… and why nobody knows where “one” is.
Country Music Explained (Badly) by Guitar Fail Math 101
Lesson Two of Guitar Fail Math 101: the Country Equation. Trucks, heartbreak, Telecasters, steel guitars… and Ulysses discovering twang.
Very Real Guitarist Problems Need Imaginary Definitions
Ghost-Noting (We’re Going in a Different Musical Direction.)
Ghost-Noting : A Proven Method for Harmonic Decluttering? A gentle way to tell a note “Thank you for your Interest in This chord”? Let’s find out !
PT-Shred-D (A Condition Not Covered by Your Tone Insurance.)
PT-Shred-D: when guitiredness meets reckless shredding. Symptoms, causes, and ways to stop your fingers from launching unsolicited sweep attacks.
Guitar Fail Lexicon: Guitired (And Proud of It?)
Guitired: when you scroll through guitar memes and tutorials instead of practicing. A real guitarist condition, now officially defined.
One-off Guitar Fail creations, visual jokes, fake products and assorted nonsense that haven’t accidentally become a series. Yet.
Why Spend Less When You Can Spend More?
Why buy a cheap guitar and spend money upgrading it? Buy an expensive guitar and spend even more. Less is more, but more is definitely more.
The Seven Guitar Fail Chord Shapes
From A-lien to G-ymnast: seven highly questionable ways to put your fingers on a guitar.
Warning: Beware of Finger Syncers
Not everyone holding a guitar is actually playing it. Learn to recognize the warning signs before it’s too late.
Some Guitars Are Just a Chapter
Not every guitar you fall for is meant to stay forever. Some become lifelong companions. Others become very expensive chapters titled “Oops.”
The Guitar-a-Day Happiness Plan
One guitar brings happiness for a day. One guitar every day? We may finally have cracked eternal bliss.
How to Choose a Guitar Pick?
Looks, grip, thickness, durability… and the overwhelming statistical certainty that you’ll lose it within a week.
One Guitar Is Never Enough
If one guitar brings happiness, more guitars should bring more happiness. The maths seem pretty solid.
When Life Gets Loud, Get Louder
When life gets too loud, you have two choices: turn it down or grab a guitar and become part of the problem.
Guitar = Happiness. That’s It.
Give a man a guitar, and he’ll be happy for a day. No wisdom, philosophy or further explanation required. More guitars, however, may be necessary.
Harm the Omelets™ : Tom Moreggo’s New Guitar Day
A Fender signature guitar, a misread slogan and some hippos mysteriously turning into fried eggs. Meet Harm the Omelets™.
GuitarFailCard : For Everything Your Bank Account Won’t Let You Buy
For everything your heart says yes to and your bank account very firmly doesn’t. Meet the GuitarFailCard™.
Self-Sustaining Angry Pedalboard
When your pedalboard has more anger issues than you do, feedback takes on a whole new meaning.
BLUNDER-BUSTING GUIDES
How (Not) To Guides To Hack It ‘Til You Make It Or Break It!
String Theory : How to Choose Your Guitar Strings Gauge ? A Quick Guide for the Plucking Perplexed
A simple guide that will help you search inside the Pandora’s Box of string gauges, and strum your way to string success.
A Simple Few-Steps Guide on How to Clean Your Guitar’s Fretboard
A dirty fretboard can negatively impact the sound of your guitar and make it more difficult to play. Here are the few steps you need to clean your fretboard.
GUITAR GOOF CHRONICLES
Guitar Tales & Stories No One Asked For…
Blast from the Past: The Curious Case of the Stratosphere Guitar!
What if the Stratosphere took over the Fender Stratocaster? Maybe the guitar world would’ve been a different place… A look back at an almost-legendary guitar.
Jeff Beck’s Guitar That Almost Was: The Ibanez Strat-a-Paul Misfire
This is the story of Jeff Beck and Ibanez, and a guitar that almost was: a hybrid dream prototype that combined two guitars and has since faded into oblivion.
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THE SACRED GUITAR FAIL VAULT
Museum of Misfits & Permanent Collection of Wrong… Spin the Guitar Fail Disaster Wheel !